


Between friends

by WolfAndHound_Archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Friendship, Marauders' Era, Romance, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-05
Updated: 2007-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-18 09:44:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 2,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5923801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfAndHound_Archivist/pseuds/WolfAndHound_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus forgives Sirius for giving away his secret and nearly getting Snape killed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The longest week

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Lassenia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Wolf and Hound](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Wolf_and_Hound), which was created to make stories posted to the Sirius_Black_and_Remus_Lupin Yahoo! mailing list easier to find. However, even though I still love the fandom, I am no longer active in it and do not have the time to maintain it. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in December 2015. I posted an announcement with Open Doors, but we may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on the [Wolf and Hound collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/wolfandhound/profile).

Sirius had never known a week drag like that. The interview with Dumbledore had been bad enough, but at least it included the news that he wasn't to be expelled. His friends were another matter. Even worse than James's bitter silence was the sadness in Remus's eyes on the few occasions when he looked at him at all. 

Then, the following Saturday evening, when James was at Quidditch practice and Peter was in detention, he burst out,

"How could you, Sirius? How could you?"

Sirius sat up and drew his bed curtains.

“I thought you were in the library, Moony." he said, realizing immediately that it was the wrong answer.

"Thanks for reminding me. I have got an essay to finish."

Remus turned towards the door. Sirius sprang from his bed and grabbed his arm.

"Don't go. Please."

"What's the point? You don't care whether I talk to you."

"That's not true, Moony. It's been so long, you startled me, that's all."

"It's been less than a week."

"Seems longer."

"Because of James."

"Not just James, no."

"No? You've shown how much you care about me. I'm a freak to be used as a weapon in your childish feuds."

"No. I was just fed up with Snape spying on you."

"So you decided to give him what he wanted?"

"More than he bargained for."

"And that's not using me as a weapon?"

"I didn't see it like that at the time. But I told you I was sorry."

"You're sorry for yourself."

"I'm sorry I hurt you."

"You betrayed me. Snape knows what I am."

"He won't break his promise to Dumbledore."

"No thanks to you."

"No. But I am sorry."

"OK. I accept your aplogy."

Remus held out his hand. Sirius ignored it and hugged him. Remus flinched; Sirius released him.

“Sorry.”

“It’s OK. It’s just that you don't usually... I mean, we don't really...”

“No. We don’t usually shake hands, either.”

They ended up just shrugging at each other. Sirius knew it was ungrateful to feel unsatisfied, but he'd badly wanted to hug Remus. More alarmingly, he'd wanted to call him by that name again; there was a good, kind reason for the silly nickname, but it was silly, whereas his given name was beautiful and dignified. Why was he thinking like this, when he could be spending the time working on becoming an animagus, which would really help Remus. Moony.


	2. Kiss and tell

"I expect you are wondering why we asked you into the Shrieking Shack today, when it's not even full moon," said James. Remus was not wondering any such thing. The answer was obvious. "Well, I am pleased to announce that one of us, at least, will be keeping you company here next month. Trust Sirius to get there first. Of course, my animal's a bit more complicated, so it would take longer."

Sirius transformed into a big black dog, which leapt up at Remus and started licking his face.

"You'll have to train him not to do that," said James.

Remus laughed.

"Haven't we got a detention, James?" asked Peter.

Sirius immediately transformed back.

"Who's we?" he growled.

"James and I", said Peter. "Pince caught us in the restricted section searching for more detailed explanations of the animagus spell."

"That's your story," said Sirius.

"Well, we've got to go now, anyway, or we'll be late," said Peter, and he and James set off down the tunnel at a trot.

"Well, what do you think?" asked Sirius. "Good enough company for full moon?"

"Sirius, I could kiss you, I really could."

"I'm sure you could, but you don't have to."

He hugged Remus, who didn't flinch this time.

"You can't imagine what this means to me, Sirius."

"You can't imagine what _this_ means to _me_ , Remus."

" _Remus?_ "

"Do you prefer 'Moony', then?"

"No, not really. No, of course not."

"Good."

Remus looked mystified.


	3. Dog-like devotion

As human consciousness returned to him, Remus found himself comforted by the dog's solicitous lickings of his wounds, nuzzlings, and sympathetic whining. Later, he was also fascinated to note that Sirius (as a dog) chose exactly the right moment to transform back into a human. How did the dog know? Remus had slept off the worst of the grogginess and woken up to find the human Sirius looking at him expectantly.

"I thought it was time you came round again," he said. "How're you feeling?"

"Could be worse."

Sirius reached for his hand and stroked it. Remus looked away in embarrassment, but didn't snatch his hand back.

"Would you rather I stopped? asked Sirius.

"I dunno."

Sirius didn't stop until he suddenly remembered.

"Madam Pomfrey! Does she still come to collect you?"

"Yes, and she mustn't find you here. Next time, go as soon as I start transforming back."

It was a Sunday morning, so Sirius had plenty of time for reflection.

"I held hands with a bloke! That's almost worse than actually... It's ... What will he think? What would James think?"

Remus was thinking the same thing.

"I hope the others will hurry up and sort out their animagi - this mustn't happen again."


	4. Back to normal

By the next full moon, James and Peter had perfected their animagus charms and the visit to the shrieking shack turned into a wild party - no human inhibitions to interfere. Sirius told himself he was delighted for Remus (no, Moony), who did himself far less damage this time, and relieved that there was no danger of any more hand-holding. He called the two new recruits Prongs and Wormtail, answered to Padfoot, and even braved Moony's wrath by resuming the persecution of Snape.

He had prepared his defence:

"James saved his life and how did he thank him? Tried to get him expelled. Said he was in on the plot to kill him."

But he was never called upon to defend himself. Remus never even gave him a disapproving look.

"Maybe he's afraid that if we fall out, we'll have to make up, and then...No, of course he isn't. He doesn't think about that the way I do."

On the Saturday of the last Quidditch match of the year, during the party to celebrate Gryffindor winning the Quidditch cup, Sirius saw Remus slip up to the dormitory and followed. No-one else was likely to be there.

"What's up, mate? Tired? It's nowhere near full moon."

"Potions revision. It's my second weakest subject."

"On James's big night? You must be joking."

"He's got the rest of the house to celebrate with. He'll let me off just this once."

"Moony, there is a party down there and you are a Marauder. If you must do potions, make yourself a Calming Draught. It is decidedly uncool to get that uptight about OWLs."

"It's all right for you, Sirius. Even with the best qualifications I'm going to be at a bit of a disadvantage, employment-wise. And I'm not going to be inheriting a mound of gold, either."

"Remus."

"Don't 'Remus' me, Sirius."

"I thought you liked it."

"Then why did you go back to Moony?"

"Because everything's back to normal. We're Marauders."

"And it is decidedly uncool to hold hands."

Sirius blushed and laughed.

"Sorry about that."

"It's forgotten."

He offered his hand again and Sirius took it, but didn't shake it. He stroked it. Again.

"Don't."

At that moment James burst in. 

"That's right, Padfoot, drag him back down. There's a whole barrel of butterbeer that needs drinking. OWLs can wait. Forever, as far as I'm concerned."


	5. Uncool

"You girlies!" shouted James, striding into the library. Sirius and Remus jumped up, looking horrified.

"There, you see. Bad for the nerves, studying."

"Oh, studying."

"What were you doing then? Holding hands? It'll come to that, you know, if you aren't careful."

Sirius sighed with relief. When James left, after doing quite a bit of studying himself, Remus hissed,

"What are you doing here? What do you want from me?"

"I don't know."

"Shrieking shack, Saturday morning, before breakfast."

"All right."

They got up early the next Saturday morning, hoping to steal out into the grounds before anyone else was up and about (they met Hagrid, Professor Haywort, the Herbology teacher, Professor Kettleburn, and two sixth-year couples returning to the Castle, having presumably been out all night). They managed to get under the Whomping Willow unobserved and made their way along the tunnel to the shack.

"So what now?" asked Remus.

Sirius took him in his arms.

"Anything you like, Remus."

"I don't know what I like. How could I? This was supposed to happen with a girl."

"Nothing's going to happen now unless you want it. I haven't even tried to kiss you, have I?"

"Kiss me? This is worse than I thought."

"So uncool it's dangerous, which is cool."

"All right, kiss me."

Sirius obeyed.

"Yes, that's dangerous, all right" said Remus.


	6. Old Boys

The session in the shack wasn't repeated - it seemed to clear the air. Sirius stopped stroking Remus's hand and reverted to "Moony."

The little romance even became a private joke during their last two years at Hogwarts. They'd wink and bat their eyelashes at each other and make flirty jokes. James called them "pathetic old queens".

They kept up the joke at their Marauders' unions, light relief from the separate, secret assignments they did for Dumbledore. Sirius would turn up in his motorbike leathers and pose lasciviously, while Remus cocked an encouraging eyebrow.

"Right! That's the end. I'm not taking you two anywhere again," James would say.

"Oh, please, Daddy, we'll be good."

"Hex them for me, will you, Peter? I don't want to dirty my wand."

The reunions stopped when the suspicion dawned and then there was the terrible betrayal, after which Remus tried to stop thinking about Sirius at all. With no other close friends left alive, this wasn't easy and he even considered trying to modify his own memory, but he'd read of the unfortunate results of such attempts and decided that being a werewolf was disability enough.

On the night he saw him again and discovered his innocence, he at first looked forward to resuming their friendship, without the slightest pang for the schoolboy romance they'd nipped in the bud. But when Sirius had to flee after all, the feeling changed. He wanted him. He wanted to touch him. Letters weren't enough.


	7. Friends reunited

There was a frantic scratching at the door and whining, which turned into howling. Fearing a trap, Remus went to the door with his wand out. It was Padfoot, with dreadful news.

As soon as Remus had sent the necessary messages, he and Sirius fell on each other greedily. They'd never had sex before and Remus wasn't sure he wanted it to happen again. They'd said "I love you" for the first time, but it was the first time it hadn't felt like love; they'd used each other. And he couldn't say that.

"Do you think Mrs Figg got the message?" asked Sirius, at last. "She can't send a Patronus back."

"Dung says he went round in person."

"Why Dung? He'd stand out like a sore thumb in a district like that."

"So would the others. I know what I'm doing, Sirius."

"Of course you do. I'm just nervous. And restless. Dumbledore told me to lie low here until he contacted me again. But it's not really fair on you."

"Do I need to tell you how welcome you are? After that?"

"Yes, especially after that."

"So you're not happy about it either."

"We needed it."

"Yes."

"But we're friends first, right."

"Right."

"You're in love with someone else, aren't you, Remus?"

"I'll tell you sometime. Not tonight. We need to get some sleep."

"Got a spare bed?"

"You can share mine tonight, but we fix something else up tomorrow. OK?"

"Sounds good to me."


	8. The best of times

"Last year Dumbledore got Arthur Weasley to try and convince some of the younger Aurors of your innocence and the danger of Peter's escape. Two of them believed it. They admire Dumbledore more than Fudge. So he asked them whether they'd be willing to do extra unpaid work for Dumbledore if the worst came to the worst. They agreed. I was introduced to them. One of them was your cousin, Nymphadora Tonks."

"Little Nympho?"

"She prefers to be called Tonks, oddly enough. And she's not little any more."

"Can't be. A trained auror, eh? James never got that far."

"No."

"And you've fallen for her?"

"Nothing's happened and nothing ever will. But I'm not about to use you as a substitute."

"We're friends, Remus. We help each other out."

"Not like that."

"OK, not like that."

Then 12 Grimmauld Place happened and Remus found himself helping Sirius out like that whenever he could, just to quell the restlessness. Or so he told himself.

"Thanks, Moony."

"Remus, call me Remus."

Sirius smiled.

"Don't look so triumphant."

"I can't help it. I don't want to come between you and Tonks, but..."

"Don't worry, I told you, I've got no chance with her, anyway. But don't you ever worry about Harry?"

"All the time."

"No, I mean how he'd react if..."

"He's not going to find out, Remus. We're friends. He knows that."

Looking back after Sirius's death, Remus thought that was probably the best phase of their friendship. Maybe it only seemed so, because it was the last phase and because if he hadn't helped him out "like that", he would always have regretted it. He wondered whether Sirius would ever have found a witch to love. Probably.

And then Sirius died. Fighting. Remus was glad about that and glad he'd helped him out. Harry would never need to know. I know. you do. But you don't really love this."

"I love you. You are going to get through this. You are not going to go mad."

when Dumbledore believed in your innocence and the Minister didn't, he sounded out some of the younger Aurors. Two of them were convinced. They admire Dumbledore more than Fudge. So he got Arthur Weasley sounded out some of the younger Aurors , to see if he could convince them of your in


End file.
